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1.
AfterLife 02:17
Why do these ghosts haunt me? I'm afraid of what I might do. I don't belong here, but what can I do? Don't be afraid of change.
2.
JUMP 08:29
(You didn't Jump?) (I didn't jump I tell you) (Why did you jump?) (What was it inside that told you to jump?) (Please don't ask me) All you would ask me, and all you would say. Is so much more than just words, baby, and I can't seem to find or portray, all these emotions and all of these pains. If I were to let you in babe, would you cut my way? I can't fake a smile anymore, Cause I'm afraid I might plummet to the floor. Jump, away from me. Jump, way off the deep end. The fence is waiting to bleed. I'm not gonna open up, Cause people talk, and I don't wanna start. So let's stop. With the pride, the lies, we're all conflicting cause. I'll cry, cry. I'll die, I'll die. All you would ask me, and all you would say. Is so much more than just words, baby, and I can't seem to find or portray, all these emotions and all of these pains. If I were to let you in babe, would you cut my way? I can't fake a smile anymore, Cause I'm afraid I might plummet to the floor. Jump, away from me. Jump, way off the deep end. The fence is waiting to bleed. If I try to say that you'll love me either way, I may as well drag a blade, across this throat and end this plague. This play on my mind, That I trade to define, The days that I find to replace. My lines on my face, My lies, my age, my pride. My faith represents the fate that sends me astray. Send me astray. All these emotions and all of these pains? If I were to let you in babe? All of these emotions and all of these pains Jump, away from me. x2 (You didn't Jump?) (I didn't jump I tell you.) (Why did you jump?) (Once you save a persons life you're responsible for it forever.) (There's nothing but darkness.) (Please don't ask me.) (I know that when I walk into the darkness.) (What was it inside that told you to jump?) (I will die.) All you would ask me, and all you would say. Is so much more than just words, baby, and I can't seem to find or portray, all these emotions and all of these pains. If I were to let you in babe, would you cut my way? I can't fake a smile anymore, Cause I'm afraid I might plummet to the floor. Jump.
3.
Indoctrinate yourself with these pages sages stressing timbre and malaise in languages interpreted by madmen. Subject an intellect to interject an impasse forcing balancing acts in periphery lies. Be that as it may, Excavate meaning in the mundane everyday changes with recognized appreciation of a balanced representation. Words led astray and misrepresent lament of loss in current depth and time. I have stressed lament, read and represent the madman in my head. (Explain it away) (I'm not mad) (I don't wanna die) (There's someone within that tells me I must die) (Please just don't let me go) Staccato phrases hide malaise robotic punctuation explains this situation where I'm afraid I have no place in. This placement of lies, lines define alibis for me to escape with. Bags packed ready to attack the road never comin' back, Identity cracks and un-recovered goals. Deflection of an insult to aspire for perfection definition of self that defies the mirrors reflection. Protection from my thoughts, emotions swell and burst fourth repression is regression yet I digress from the beaten path with every exception of the ruling class. (Leave me alone I wanna go away) Be that as it may (When we first started out it was fun) Be that as it may (I just want you to like me) I'm not mad (I'm not mad)
4.
Dotoyev Sky 05:14
5.
I want to eat you alive. Your flesh, Your bones, When you breathe, your voices tone. x2 Dissection of the disgusting undertones; This is an explanation of my want for you. I want to eat you alive, I want to make you mine.
6.
(Creation seems to come out of imperfection. It seems to come out of a striving and a frustration. This is where, I think, language came from. I mean, it came from our desire to transcend our isolation and have some sort of connection with one another. It had to be easy when it was just simple survival. “Water.” We came up with a sound for that. “Sabretooth tiger right behind you!” We came up with a sound for that. But when it gets really interesting, I think, is when we use that same system of symbols to communicate all the abstract and intangible things that we’re experiencing. What is “frustration”? Or, what is “anger” or “love”? When I say “love” - the sound comes out of my mouth and it hits the other person’s ear, travels through this byzantine conduit in their brain, through their memories of love or lack of love, and they register what I'm saying... and they say yes they understand, but how do I know? Because words are inert. They’re just symbols. They’re dead - you know? And so much of our experience is intangible. So much of what we perceive cannot be expressed, it’s unspeakable. And yet, you know, when we communicate with one another and we feel that we have connected - and we think we’re understood, I think we have a feeling of almost spiritual communion... and that feeling may be transient, but I think it’s what we live for.)
7.
Sa(e)x 04:37
Baby, you've got the moves, But you gotta prove to me, Gotta little groove. Nothing to lose, baby Gotta bit a Ecstasy. Find me, and lift me from this fleeting indecision. Weld this break, and end this schism in my brain. Wearing thin, the lines of morality; are a creation of fiction, and like sands of time will polish my mind with friction. Oh, this delicious affliction. Oh, I choose my perdition. Oh, tell me what your wish is. Gimme dat, gimme dat, XTC, LSD. Mushrooms please. I need to see the energy connecting you and me. Romantically, Se la vi? Mon ami, oh ma cherie. I'm gonna pop that cherry. Lick and suck. Trust you'll cum. Porn stars, Let's record and watch later. Fuck now or later. Candy arches, Pink desperado lemon berry cherry popper. Makin' names like drinks to make it go down faster. Thshlslbsblbslblblblb, My tongue sounds dear. I'm gonna eat it. Peaches and cream, Orange dream wet popsicle lips exquisite. Baby be my mistress. Hit it and quit, Then reminisce it. Cause you're gonna like this a little bit more than you can admit it. Oh, this delicious affliction. (I'm fucked up) Oh, I choose my perdition. (Dressed up) Oh, tell me what your wish is. (Like a manga character that wants to fuck.) But I'm out of touch. Out of luck. With this world. With these girls. Cause I think they talk too much Oh they fuckin' talk too much. Blah blah blah Bullshit blah blah I don't fuckin' care about your, Job. Car. Walk. Kid. God. Talk. Get outta here. Blah blah blah Bullshit blah blah I don't fuckin' care about your, Job. Car. Walk. Kid. God. Talk. Get outta here, you fuckin' cunt.
8.
Hiawatha 08:46
9.
MuHuman 03:40
(Breathe) (Burning in my soul) (Humans) (What do)
10.
Touch me, You timid thing. Don't be shy, I'm just waiting. Test me, You timid thing. I'm waiting, For you to come with me. Bad luck kitty. Black cat pity. You're too goddam pretty, To sin in this city. Let's spend, The weekend, In Bed, No end. I'll send, Heaven, A message; Turn your heads. Bad luck kitty. Black cat pity. You're too goddam pretty, To sin in this city. x2 I have two choices, Home or the road. The path I choose to follow, Will inherit the goal. This bed of thorns, Is made of gold.
11.
Saganist 04:42
12.
13.
Let Me Go 06:10
14.
(Got to slow down.) (Right here, right now.) (Gotta be here, right here for you.) (All night, slow slow down.) (Come to me) (I've never felt so good inside.) (Knock me down, spin me round.) (Lower me down spin me round.) (I'm just a fool, tonight.)
15.
I landed like I planned it. Alien, exiled manic. Reprimanded for commandin'. Plantin' the seed and demandin'. Not wanting to eat what I've been handed. Is it a feat to feed my family? When every time I awaken I fight to defeat the famine. I lie in my bed at night. On the floor, until I get it right. Awake to the TV light I like to keep my mind sharp like a katana. Don't you wanna call me samurai? I'll play the part. Gimme a start. I need to get as far east as this beast of heart will allow me to depart. Feast on the civilization Before it tears me apart. This realization of vanity in the stars. I feel like I've been scarred, been fed dreams from this idiot box for so long, I'm gonna starve from vacant art. Fake sick gods feeding me fuck all of a farce. Can't afford gorgeous girls or gold. Garages filled with cars, Ferraris. Baby, I'm not sorry Cause I'm not gaudy I just can't copy what other men might think. Might be the top seat. I'm Top Gunnin' my way past the danger zone. Wingman in the sun so I don't gotta fly alone. Can you hear my guns I'm fighting for my home? Without the weight of someone elses cause in my bones. Try to define me and all you'll be finding Categorizing all this defying of placement. File it in a basement. Face it, you couldn't make it. You couldn't even trace it. My steps, my rep, how I got from bad to best and left the rest; the excess, duress, the stress impressed. My mark upon this crest. Blessed to be dressed in fresh fucking clothes for a chance. I've got nothing. I've got nothing I've got nothing to live for. Nothing to do Nothing to say Nothing to be Nothing to buy Nothing to cry Nothing to die Nothing to live Nothing to strive Nothing is no thing to be afraid of. Is the glass half full empty or made up? Transluscent. My intentions are see through. Fool proof or proof of the fool? Truthfully, I see you. What you don't give I wish to pull. To fill this emptiness in my soul I have a gift of love and lust. The latter will be destroyed by trust. One in the same A family in the picture frame These jeans I might not it in The perfect piece of genes This Goddess rules me But I have many weapons Fuel and fire, sword and scepter, word and wit. I'm fixated on this worship This warship is sinking. Taking it's captain with it. I could throw myself overboard but my shores would go unvisited. I landed like I planned it. Alien, exiled manic. Reprimanded for commandin'. Plantin' the seed and demandin'. Not wanting to eat what I've been handed. Is it a feat to feed my family? When every time I awaken I fight to defeat the famine.
16.
Dare I aspire to fly? When gravity always guides me back to ground. Bring me a cloud, wrapped in a silver line, So my eyes always perceive the divine. So my wings have cause to climb, to take to the skies. If my mind holds Ill never give up on the fight. I don't want the gods making fun of my pride, but I don't have the flaws of those empty awful watchful eyes. I've been called a slob, but I feel like a slave to the judge. They call me madman, kissing fire, mysticism in the fog. Within my withered reason will I triumph over gold? Will my wandering will what I want within this world? I could be wrong or I could be right, If I don't fight, death just might come in from the left side. Demon take away the light. We try so hard to keep in these meek hands. I'm not trying to be some preacher man. I just think we can come together as friends. Maybe hold hands across dimensions. My humble wishes. I cry to be one with the sky. Flight divine, come freedom be mine.

credits

released July 28, 2014

This album features audio clips from, "Vertigo", "Waking life", and "Carl Sagan". As well as vocal samples from myself and "Music Radar Female Vocal Samples" among others. Special thanks to everyone who let me crash on their couch or floor while I made this album.

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Kristopher George Turlock, California

I am a mad romantic, swept up in the human drama and moved by the symphony of life. I am a hopeless dreamer and optimist that was bitten by the bug of pessimism while upon expedition of the darkest jungles in our minds. I feel the weight of responsibilities, to myself and my planet. I harbor as much love as I do respect, I am alive. I choose to speak the words that move and vibrate the universe. ... more

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